a letter to im ok

I guess I always feel lonely but I do it to myself. I'm a lot like my dad I'm realizing more and more. Aggressive, prideful, wrath, insecure, anxious. Drives people away despite feeling so lonely. I just hope i can do better than him before I really hurt someone.

dear im ok,

I am caught myself debating on the possibility of your alias being an involuntary lie. I considered asking if your dad also happens to be a liar since you mentioned your growing similarities. I assure you no poison comes from my curious hands, I am merely fascinated by fathers as my experience with them is remarkably limited.

I am watching the superbowl for the first time and kansas city just tied with the 49ers. now the score is 16 x 16. I want you to know this, for some reason. as a fatherless child, my best guess is that I enjoyed reading about your father's flaws as I watch alone something that feels like a dad activity.

have you ever watched sports with him? do you think he sees himself in you? and if he does, how do you think he feels about it? I also wonder if you think he is perpetually lonely because his dad also never taught him any different. and if the answer is yes, are you accepting this intergenerational doom?