a letter to jeremy

I just spent the weekend with a beautiful human who lives across the country from me. They make me feel present and alive in a way not too many people can. Whenever i think about them when we're apart there's a little paing of loneliness, wishing we could be together - something that feels like an intrusive/obsessive thought. The distance is really tough and when I'm lonely they're the person I want to connect with.

dear jeremy,

your experience seems to mirror my own and I would like to begin by thanking you for that.

as a result, I have a self-centered question for you regarding the feelings caused by the distance between you and your loved one. do you, like myself, believe that the distance caused by time exceeds the pain of the physicality of your situation?

as I said, my question comes from selfish reasons. lately, I have been finding myself angry at the fact that instant messaging is rarely instant. our conversations are broken by the digital, interrupted by daily life and its tasks. younger generations – mine included – continue to use this tool as if it is able to provide meaningful connections. however, it seems to me that we are attempting to care for a heart attack with ibuprofen and hot pads.

jeremy, I started sending letters and postcards at the age of 26 because the wait is intentional. the thought of my words being read weeks after the ink dries relieves my anxiety at the same time that it provides me with joyful excitement. although every word is intentional, they may no longer hold truth by the time they are read. this catch-up game is one of devotion and I love playing it.